I know you have enough on your plate, you are growing a person after all. I remember those days where you are sporting a pumpkin under your shirt and counting down the days to peeing at normal intervals again. The last thing you want is to encounter a Toucher, arms extended toward your belly ready to rub your bump without even looking you in the eye. Ugh. That annoying person who has a whole conversation with your unborn child and ignores you as just the host for an adorable babe.
But you know what I discovered recently? I've become that person! I have an uncontrollable urge to rub pregnant bellies. Just emailing my pregnant friend makes me want to rub her bump virtually. Who thinks like that?! It takes all my will power (which is limited) to keep my hands to myself when we get together.
Last week, I saw another friend that I hadn't seen in probably a year who is expecting her first child. And what did I do? I extended both hands, not for a hug, but downwards toward her belly. Without any preamble or apology, I rubbed her pregnant belly. It didn't even register in my brain what I was doing as I continued to rub her belly and talk baby stuff with my friend. It was probably 5 minutes into the conversation before I even hugged her. What happened to me?!
So, I am issuing a personal apology to all the pregnant ladies out there. I apologize if I immediately touch your belly when next we meet. I apologize if without warning both my hands are rubbing your baby bump. I apologize if I address your belly instead of you.
I'm just plain sorry. I have a serious problem and I am working on it.
PS - Want to keep annoying people like me away? Here are some great ways to belly touchers to back off!